I cockslap morals
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
