my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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