just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
