Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
