either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
