Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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