six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
