Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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