if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
