You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
