It's like God shit irony all over that family
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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