all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
