i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
