What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I think I just sharted jello shots
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
