you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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