But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
