And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
