I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
