I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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