he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
