Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Houston, we have a blender
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
