So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
