how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Thank you for not boning my boss.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
