Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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