So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
