im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
