I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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