Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
