I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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