we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize