she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
