Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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