haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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