I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
