I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We don't watch enough power rangers
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
