the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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