i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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