Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
