Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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