Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
