So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
