thus making me awesome and them whores
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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