Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
