Buhtt sex?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
