apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
