Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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