We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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