I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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