dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
