he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Randomize
