i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
