ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he thought i was a dude.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
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