When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
