just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
