this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
