$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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