one might say we're banned from that church
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Boobs speak an international language.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
