She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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