I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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