Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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