I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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