this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
