tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
