Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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