a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
