mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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