New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
